Archive for the ‘ crossed my mind ’ Category

id rather…

Be out with mar and the fam tonight, instead of being alone in Elk Grove waiting for my 0630 shift to start.

Drink buttery nipples and laugh my bruja laugh as loud as I want tonight with funny people, even if the music was bad.

Maybe be at my  home by the ocean watching netflix in bed with mar on the lap top playing Left 4 Dead.

Have awesome abs

Be sound asleep in this comfy bed being solo,but I can’t yet…

… because I’m waiting for my pink nail polish to dry.

(no hi5 here this time)



A lot of things on my mind. One more than the others but still. All these thoughts doing triple axles in my mind as I’m wrapped up in my yellow Hello Kitty.

I need a job, time to grow up, and learn about real stuff. Just waiting for the opportunity to be a part of society. Praying for a job. Pllleeeeaaasse.

Fingers crossed and smiling like a kid with all my teeth.


I blasted their hit collections on my drive to Borders the other day.

I got a few folks from the sidewalk waiting for the muni at sf state to move their heads to the beat as I was stopped at the light. Reminds me of high school and after. For that day under the sf sun, I was able to roll down the windows (but turn on a little warm from the vents of course) and breathe in the crisp. Most importantly I was able to jam to the music and remind myself of that love. Its the hip hop that the Roots just bleed. You can just feel the mix of rock and soul that they so comfortably add to the hip hop in your finger tips. My favorite.

I used to think underground was the way to go in my last years of high school. But I learned that its the music that you connect with on the most intimate level. Thats the way to go. No matter how famous or small the artists and his message may be, I know, I feel, I love whatever sound allows me to close my eyes and tap my finger. And my tastes have molded itself to the most sweetest and bittereeest, smoothest, rugged, heart dropping, pants dropping, soul searching flavors I will slowly enjoy and appreciate .I play no instruments. I have no talent to create music. But I know what I like, and I know how I feel. And that’s my own trend.

I told myself how I could give 2 shits about what CDs were left in my possession after my car got robbed (17th and Bryant… you suck). But what was left for me, scratched and skipping, I love you and thank you for letting me hear what I have forgotten.

shall I proceed?

Admitting that I enjoy watching the new Mtv show My Life as Liz.

First let me explain that I am definitely not a big fan of the tacky shows on this network. WITH THE EXCEPTION of True Life, Real World (( New Orleans and prior ONLY)), Road Rules ((only the first 4 or 5 seasons)), Unplugged and of course… Daria.

Could it be? Maybe this new show about Liz reminds me of Daria. Yes I may be a dork for writing about some show that I rolled my eyes at when seeing the previews, however this girl seems like her personality matches her look. I like that. It could be face and scripted, sure… but when a girl seems close enough to sincerely being herself, I likey. Her singing pretty much grounded my adjectives. She’s cute. She may be the media model for the rebellion against the pretty boobie gals everyone wants to be like. But hey, she looks good in lipstick and wrinkled clothing and her friends are good ones. Reminds me of when my dad told me I dressed like a weirdo, lesbian, drug dealer… lol he cracks me up. non of thee above ahem.

Keep it up.

Yes indeed.

Smellin the Autumn

I like it.

Its chilly but the sun is out. Lap top on my lap and books to my side.

CI is starting to feel heavy on my shoulders… but God knows that I have to take care of a bigger load on my head first and foremost. Nillo is at my side curled up in a ball, doing what he does best…chillen. I haven’t been able to chill in so long. This year really stripped away the bulk of my youth, along with the cool collectiveness of myself.

I realize how hard it is to balance practicality and goals. Knowing that when your time comes to come through as a member of society, the person who is most disappointed in you is yourself.

One thing that I noticed in the universe of social networking via internet… people like to update others on how shitting their day was. And I don’t mean one day out of the month or week… I mean on the daily. Seriously… do you really suck that bad? Or does everyone else suck so bad enough that their essence of being a sucky individuals becomes airborne? I know that I talk about “sigh” related situations and what not, but DAMN GINA. At least I let the sun shine through my windows just as often as I shut it out. People need to say something good for a change. Maybe.. I dunno.. what about thanking the Lord or mother nature for the damn delicious skrumptious apple you just ate. For the love of life and food, and all the smell good things in this world…..

Big things are a comin. And I’m scared. But I trust (at least at the very minimum)… that everything will play a nice tune.

I like autumn. The colors, the weather, the clothes (that I can’t have being a sad sad broke woman), and the end of the year makes me reflect on what the hell I did all year… possibly more disappointing than glorious ha. But inevitably, Christmas will somehow shove some cheer in my face and I’m gonna it.

Time to get a new jacket, call for my good hats and snuggle with the dooggies.

I have a date with my books, my fam, mar, and a lot of thanks giving.


i remember

My auntie. I always think about you. Know that when I care for the ill… I will care for them with compassion and integrity.

I miss you. And as with everybody else… we hide behind a face. But I think of you. I think of all the things you’ve done for me… and the little amounts I did for you. So I exercise avoiding regret. And like now… I’m tired.

It was hard for me to understand why you were sick back then… and now I know more about cancer than I do ironing.

I always think about you.. know that when I care for the ill… I will care with compassion and integrity.



Ever felt so lazy and drained at the same time? BUT you have so much to do? Summer is going on empty. So here I sit, laptop on lap, Mar at my side snoring in sync with the dogs and Chelsea Lately on screen. Milla Jovovich is looking fabulous as ever in yet I “ugh.”

I just need to breathe. The treadmill is starting to bore me as with my hair. Jon & Kate +8 makes my stomach hurt… and I am jobless. power….power….. I am drunk with guilt for the lack of motivation.

Cluttered room= cluttered mind. Cleaning may help suffice. Perhaps a good fortune from a cookie.. a good show maybe?

Can’t I get a coke and a smile? ((Bad Boys))